I’m not sayin dogs are dumb, but…

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic : Only 1
Hands are already in the air.

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Pentecostal : 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

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Presbyterians : None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

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Roman Catholic: None – Candles only.

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Baptists : At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the
change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

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Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk
about how much better the old one was.

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Mormons : 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

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Unitarians :
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the
need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found
that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or
compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday
service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions,
including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all
of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

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Methodists : Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved.
You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of
your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

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Nazarene : 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

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Lutherans : None
Lutherans don’t believe in change..

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Amish :
What’s a light bulb?

Just Worship

The Big Worship Goof

IF THIS WAS JESUS

Every Christian is a theologian

Just posting this to keep a record of it.

Every Christian is a theologian. Not all Christians are professional theologians, but we are all theologians because we are all thinking and learning about the things of God. The question is not whether we are theologians or not, but whether we are good theologians or bad theologians. Because our theology affects every aspect of our lives, from our worship to our work, it is vitally important that we be good theologians.

–R.C. Sproul or someone at Ligonier

Revelation, Mark and Ferguson

I’ve finished Revelation and I really enjoyed it. It’s so nice to read again how things will end up. That’s been comforting.

My in-between book is In Christ Alone by Ferguson. This is one of the best books I’ve read in a long time. I’m a little more than halfway through right now.

I’m going to start reading Mark in the NLT and want to read as much as I can at a time to get a good overview. Then I’ll start the commentary by Cole. It will be nice to get back to the Gospels.

Greek is hard! These paradigms just don’t stop. I have no timetable though and I’m learning things pretty well as far as I can tell. I’m only on chapter 7 right now.

Gospel Commentaries!

I’m nearing the end of Revelation. I will be going to the commentaries on the Gospels, since I started my commentary reading in Romans. I’ve been looking at the page counts of the Matthew-France, Luke-Green and John-Carson. (Mark by Cole is shorter.) I didn’t realize how large they were. Most will be as long or much longer than the Romans commentary which was a huge undertaking for me. I really want to do this though. Do I really? I think so.

I’m not sure how I’m going to handle the Old Testament. I was going to read about four commentaries in-between the Gospel commentaries but I think I may read through the whole OT first, then the commentaries.

Learning Greek has slowed down my reading a bit so I hope it’s worth it. My 3 Year Plan may become more like 3 1/2 and that’s not including Calvin’s Institutes, Ladd’s NT and a couple other biggies. And there’s all the “regular” books I have that I want to read.

Greek Pronunciation

A strange thing has happened. A while ago when I first started the Croy book, I stopped practicing pronunciation and felt I lost a little. Now after I’ve gone through a few chapters and know some vocabulary, my pronunciation and ability to read, even if I don’t know what I’m reading, has improved. I’m not sure why this is. I think it may be partly because I’m really paying attention to accent marks and repeating words often.

Revelation and Greek

I’ve been reading Keener’s commentary on Revelation and really like it. I started it about two weeks ago.

Other than the Gospels, I think Revelation may be my favorite NT book behind Colossians and Hebrews.

I decided to slowly redo the exercises from chapters 2-5 in Croy’s book but should be on to chapter 6 next week.

Greek

I talked with Esteban on the phone and it was extremely productive. I got a few questions answered, some tips on how to better go about learning some things and how thorough I should be in doing the exercises.

Regarding the latter, I was under the impression that I should not worry about being too much of a perfectionist, even though it’s against my nature, and keep going since the exercises would build on each other. But the professor said it’s important to master the exercises before going on to the next chapter. Although this is the opposite of what I thought would be said, I like the idea because I like to do things right and it will make for much less confusion and stress later on.

I had been waiting until I got the vocabulary down in each chapter before I started working on the (many) exercises. I think I’ll start them a little earlier in the process. Even so, I will be spending even more time on each chapter. I’ve been spending about a week on each one and there are 32. But I’d rather learn it well so I can refute Mike Aubrey and really throw it down. But by the time I’ve learned the very basics of Greek he’ll be off in Timbuktu somewhere translating or teaching Greek to missionaries.

I’m in no hurry. God doesn’t care how fast I learn Greek and if the world ends soon (please Lord) I won’t need it anyway.

Right now I’m on chapter 5 so let’s see how long it takes to get through the book. It probably won’t be until sometime in 2010.

Sometimes I wonder if it will be worth it but everyone that has learned Greek to any degree has said that it is. And I get more out of reading commentaries when I can understand the vocabulary and grammar better. Greek For The Rest Of Us just wasn’t enough.

Jeff’s Made-up Word of the Day

prognosticism – forecasting of the probable course and outcome of a disease through the acquisition of heretical esoteric knowledge

Greek

This Greek stuff is hard. Memorizing the vocabulary isn’t too bad. It’s the paradigms and the grammar that get me. I’m doing all the exercises even though in the teacher’s guide he says it’s up to the discretion of the teacher as to how much to assign. I’m finding the made up sentences even more helpful than the Bible verses which is a nice feature of the Croy book.

I haven’t been practicing my pronunciation as much and can see that I’ve lost some recognition so I’m going to have to keep that up too. Too much to do. Too little energy and mental capacity.

Letters of John

I started Kruse’s commentary on the Letters of John. I decided to go right to that from the Letters of Peter and not read a regular book in-between because I want to keep moving ahead on those after some lost time.

Maybe it’s because it’s a small book, but 1 John seems to have connections all over it. There are things that seem contradictory but are really complimentary and the whole letter needs to be understood as a whole. I guess that’s the case with the whole Bible.

Hopefully Back On Track

5 1/2 weeks after back surgery I think my life is getting back to normal except for some reason I’m having major insomnia problems, especially last night, the night of the lost hour time change. !

I went shopping yesterday for the first time since the surgery and there was virtually no extra nerve pain from the standing and walking which is really something. My back got tired which is always the case, but not as much since I can stand up straight.

I’m learning BibleWorks and am writing parts of a review post as I go. I’ve been blogging a little more and plan on doing more substantial posts.

I’ve got the laptop all configured and ready to go so hopefully I’m done piddling around for the most part.

Translation Fail

If Galatians was in Christianity Today

If Paul’s Epistle to the Galatians was Published in Christianity Today

New Computer

I got the laptop on two days ago. It took quite a while to get on the Internet and then even longer to connect to the other desktops on the network. Then yesterday I couldn’t send e-mail through AT&T and spent an hour chatting with a tech person getting that straightened out. It hasn’t become enjoyable at all until today. I still lose the network every time I reboot which is maddening. I could wipe out Vista and install XP but then I’d have to start all over again.

Now I can get to work on learning BibleWorks and it will be much easier to check my work on the Greek exercises in the Croy book. I’m thrilled that there is a third party Croy vocabulary set available for the BW vocabulary flashcard module. And the sound files include modern Greek pronunciation! I don’t even want to listen to the Erasmian stuff.

Hopefully I’ve got most of the configuration and customization done and I won’t play around with that stuff so much and I’ll get to the important stuff.

“Worship Music”

Less Stupid

Because of the pain med and what I think may have been lingering affects of the anesthesia, I was pretty foggy and stupid for a while. Sunday I was down to 1/8 the dose of the pain med compared what I was taking for a few days after the surgery and I could tell my word recall got better and I felt like reading more heavy stuff.

So I started reading the 1 Peter commentary on Sunday and started Croy’s Greek Grammar on Monday. I’m taking the latter very slow and really learning it.

I just installed a review copy of BibleWorks and I’m sure that will help my Greek.

In reading Greek For The Rest Of Us and Exegetical Fallacies I learned a lot about languages even though I still know next to nothing. I’m determined not to let a little bit be dangerous and may want to keep going further.

I was going to go through Croy’s Grammar and after that hopefully be able to read a Greek reader. But I would like to also go through Black’s linguistics book too later on. I think I’m going to have to devote some time each day to language long term.

Semantic Range

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, “I’d like to get you guys in now, but our computer’s down.
You’ll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can’t go
back as priests. What’ll it be?”

The first priest says, “I’ve always wanted to be an eagle, soaring
above the Rocky mountains.”

“So be it,” says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.

The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, “Will any of
this week ‘count’, St. Peter?”

“No, I told you the computer’s down. There’s no way we can keep track
of what you’re doing.”

“In that case,” says the second priest, “I’ve always wanted to be a stud.”

“So be it” says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.

A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to
recall the two priests. “Will you have any trouble locating them?” He
asks.

“The first one should be easy,” says St. Peter. “He’s somewhere over
the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to
be more difficult.”

“Why?” asketh the Lord.

“He’s on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota.”